In a time before childhood,
Long ago and far away,
At the center of things,
A fair child, sovereign of worlds,
In love with all life’s wonders,
Sought wisdom above all things,
And having good and sufficient means,
Sent for the wizards and said,
How shall I come to know all things?

They took counsel together a year and a day,
Returning at last their verdict:
O Great One, who appears to us as a Child,
Forgive us our answers, and hear our thoughts:
In this life you will not know all things,
But in time you may. Thus must it be:,
First, you must give up what you most desire.
Then, by magic art, faster than light or the fastest thought,
Send forth scouts to every star,
Emissaries empowered to go far beyond far beyond far,
To see what is there, and return.
This quest will take countless lifetimes.
But the voice of our well-cast circle says:
In some far lifetime,
When the greatest cycle has run its course and returned,
Your life, O Child, will be renewed,
And the one who went furthest will at last return,
And make known to you what you most desire,
That in all those lifetimes you had yet to learn.

So let it be! the royal youth proclaimed, thinking nothing of the price.
Let the gate be opened at earth and heaven’s crossing,
And the ways be opened by cunning spell,
and send forth a call among the people:
Let the shining ones come to wisdom’s door and go
Among the stars, through the long dark night,
Lives like pearls spent on wisdom, a royal sacrifice.
So let it be done. And so it was,
The spells were laid, the call was made
They came in hosts, the shining ones,
Each in the name of one or another love:
Each fool who wisdom, or adventure, or duty claimed.

The first to arrive at the wizard’s road
Was one who loved the youthful best.
They had never met: but the royal eye,
Turned from wisdom’s dusty path by love’s coming,
Saw in its clear and innocent light,
The warmest heart, the keenest eye, the surest hand and most kenning mind
In all the world: and with royal heart star-struck,
Said without thinking, You shall not go!
What wisdom, quotha, could be worth your distance?
The wizards’ word was answered:
Love’s fool gave up wisdom for a pretty face.

They stood at wisdom’s gate, open to heaven.
But the brave one, scorning royal counsel, said:
For your love, I would not stay.
(In truth, love spoke the lie; it in secret said
I love you beyond lifetimes,
And love may fulfill your desire.)
–Thus love to love said No:
Love’s hopeless lover: Go then! replied,
Gesturing through that awful door.

The first to come was the first to go,
Whom fate sent furthest
Faster than light or thought, toward the farthest star.
Love vowed the world, and wisdoms’ end.

After love went, wisdom’s fool grew cold,
Let go the grace of youth, no more a child,
But sent daily, yearly, and at every cycle’s turning
Love’s fond followers heavenward
And still they willing went,
Plunging from the center outward, starward
To find what was there to find, and return.

Still youth grew daily old, a life of royal ritual,
Giving to each wandering orb and star a name,
A life, a willing sacrifice, sent to return.
They grew silent in the counsels of the wise,
In royal state, speaking slowly.
The people called them wise: were they?

As death approached, by the gates the wizened ones
Who know all things come round at last,
Laid feasts to welcome those who going, return.

The last to leave was first to return,
But one day older than when they went,
To witness with wild voice and open eyes:

“I have crossed the endless night: and found another world,
Different than this in some ways, in some ways the same.
There were people there; I lived among them, I learned their ways.
I come bearing all that I know. They live and die as we do, and all things change.”

The royal wisdom, now wisest of all who stayed behind,
Understood, gave thanks, and died.

Still, over awful aeons’ time, all who left returned
Falling from stars among those who watched at wisdom’s gate
And heard with wonder wilder stories, journeys strange and wide
and though each life spoke marvels, each who spoke at last replied:

“I have crossed the endless night, and found a world,
Different than this, and yet the same.
There were people there: I learned their ways.
I gave all that I am: I give all that I know.
We live and die, and earth and heaven change.”
None said: I know it all.
Each said: There yet are worlds beyond.

For countless lifetimes, in the tallies of the wise,
Witness returned from worlds beyond,
Each changed in some way–some broken, some reborn,
Some bitter, some on bended knee, some with wild dancing
Some in strange bodies but still the same
Some as total strangers, legend-led,
Some as vast peoples, rich harvest to wisdom’s seed.
From every star to the center,
For each star a shining name,
And more to come, until–

One name, one star alone remained.
The first to love and leave:
A maiden voyage unreclaimed,
Love’s, wisdom’s promises unrequited.
For dusty ages thus the final ledger read:
Seekers of wisdom, know despair!
The circle is broken,
And like love, wisdom
Is a liar, unrewarded.

Finding themselves fools, the faithful wise,
In witless counsel, finally said:
We know now what we knew then.
Why longer tend these old and fruitless tales?
All things change, and so must we.
So they burned their lists and sold their priceless books,
Closed their gates, turned in their keys,
And walked out of memory, gone out of their mind.

Who remembers, now,
The stories the goers brought back from the skies?
Who has heard the stars speaking back, life after life?
And who will watch for the last to return?
Who can yet reclaim
Love’s most daring challenge
Wisdom’s subtle game?

It happened as it happened, thus, one normal night
When every cycle had circled round, and all the stars came right.
It happened, thus, to a child, waking in darkness
Walking out unknowing, in dreams and wonder
To see a star falling and in its light,
Faster than thought, recall its going.

It landed in the grass just beyond the house
It glowed in the darkness, drawing the child:
And wonder with horror vied to see with such clear sight,
That one in whose body love and wisdom sought their level:
All beauty long used up, a ghostly wreck
Wizened its whisper, alien its eye.
Who could look away?
Still and small it bore witness,
With voice more sure than all that came before.

“I have found you, love, I have returned.
Forgive me my going; I have remembered my vow
And found you beyond world’s end.
Faster than thought I flew
And still the night grew uncountably long
When I arrived at the shores of the farthest star:
And lifting my eyes, I saw, in every direction,
Further heavens. I have been to and through and beyond them all.
My vow sustained me, my love for you my life renewed:
And in every place I went I looked for you
In every stranger’s face, through countless lives
With love’s eyes I searched, and everywhere saw you.
And thus I loved them all, and learned their ways,
And wondered, thus, to know you in longing
For all love’s wounding, for wisdom left behind.
In youth’s folly I fled from you; in age upon age I grew more wise,
Seeking your own and my heart’s desire:
To bring my going to its end, and then return.
Till now, though I flew on from star to star,
I did not find an end, nor anywhere an answer
Greater than this, to see you again.

I have returned, who crossed the endless night
To give all that I am, and all that I’ve been
To die in your eyes and live again, as all things change.”

Hearing this, the child
Eyes wide, heart alight,
Held the awful precious thing.
Knew wisdom of ages unending
Stretched before them,
Aeons behind, there at the place
Of final returning, here and now
At the center of things.
No questions, now.
No answer to heartache’s awful mess,
But that bittersweet wisdom
That whispered “Yes.”

Will can now remember
What went unsaid?
The blind sight of star-struck eyes
Tear-streaked with thanks and terrible knowing
The end of the story, where it was born.
Love departed, wisdom found,
Folly’s ending, love’s reward.